ReBOOT...Courage

​

Forgiveness takes courage, particularly if you have been wronged. Compounding it further may be the fact that your partner may not be responding in a way that indicates they "deserve" forgiveness. They may not show remorse or even understand why you are hurt. Here's the deal....forgiveness should be freely given even when the "hurter" (The one who caused the hurt) doesn't ask for it. Forgiveness is for YOU. Why do you need courage? It's fear that causes us to take a protective stance...we posture ourselves in a way that protects us from a repeat performance. Remember rebooting courage involves not eliminating fear but moving forward in the face of it. 

 

Activity: In the course of your marriage your spouse will either intentionally or unintentionally do something that causes you pain, make you angry etc. When these things occur, sometimes they apologize and sometimes they do not. This exercise is about forgiving without an apology.

 

Directions: Purchase a small jar/bottle.                                                     We'll call this jar the "Forgetting & Forgiving Bottle". When an event happens that requires forgiveness, write it down and put it in the bottle of Forgetting & Forgiveness and do just that....Forgive him or her and Forget it.

 

God Factor: Having the courage to forgive is also about forgetting - use the scriptures below as a guide to "not remember those things that were done against you". God asks us to put on love which holds all of the things mentioned in verse 12 together (kindness, compassion, patience etc.). It's difficult to forgive in our own strength and almost impossible to do without love. When you find it hard to see/feel the love in your heart to forgive, take a little of God's love and forgive not through your own strength but through His. 

 

Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV)12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.